Despite my misleading title, I have not had a great drink today! We rarely ever drink here. It's not that we don't enjoy a nice glass of wine on occasion but we are more social drinkers and with four kids, that equals out to MAYBE 4 times a year when we are sans kids. However, I have come to the conclusion tonight that I should drink MORE. It has been hot as blue blazes here in the South but finally we have a cool front coming through by way of a storm which is fine by me since we have had almost no rain all Summer. I have a 100 lb Akita named after Kimbo Slice the UFC fighter. We named him in anticipation that he would be the greatest guard dog in the world. He's pretty good if scaring off bad guys with slobber and wet kisses equals guarding.
Anyways, Kimbo is terrified of anything resembling a storm including a single rain drop or even a leaf floating by which might represent the possibility of a storm. I had already gone to bed tonight when I realized that puppysaurus is still outside, so here I go in my long shirt, no pants (hey the closest live things around are a bunch of cows and I don't think they give a care if I put on pants to call the dog) and start calling. Akita's are highly intelligent. They don't fetch, they don't come, they do whatever they deem appropriate in the situation. They realize fetching is demeaning to their intelligence and heck, why would they come if they could get a rise out of you by NOT coming! It's blowing ferocious outside, yet Kimbo won't come.
At this point, I have been outside trolloping all over the yard in my half birthday suit for five minutes and I have had it. I start telling him how ridiculous it is that he won't obey, that I hope he gets blown away in the storm, and how I will NOT give him any wet food tomorrow (it's a treat, not a necessity since he mainly eats dry food). I lock the door, head back to the bedroom to awaken my DH to go get the dog, when I trip and almost fall. There blinking up at me like I have taken leave of all my senses is......Kimbo.
So you see, sobriety isn't working so well for me. Maybe if I stayed blitzed out of my mind I wouldn't miss seeing the hundred pound dog on the way OUT the door to call him. Just a thought.